Thursday, October 23, 2008


"So, Carson thinks I should write a humorous book about single parenting" I say to Drew.
"That's a good idea. You are a great single mom. Really awesome" he replied.
I looked at him.
"Uh Drew? Have you looked at our family lately? We are a mess."
"Yeah, but that has nothing to do with your parenting. You are doing a great job. It's not your fault that we don't listen to you. Or that we like to do bad things. Or that we don't try at school. Those are our decisions. We are the idiots. Not you."
"Actually, the outcome of good parenting is good kids. Kids that do well in school, don't get in trouble with the law, kids that love their families..."
"Nah. I don't think so. None of this is your fault. You are a great single mom."

Grrr. Hate it when he calls me a single mom. I'm just mom.

"So, Carson thinks I should write a humorous book about single parenting" I say to Max.
"Forget about it" was his reply.

"So, Carson thinks I should write a humourous book about single parenting" I say to Clint.
"And...?" he wondered what I wasn't saying.
"Drew thinks I'm a great single parent even though our household is crappy these days. And Max said no way."
"A book about parenting... would be filled with stories about us kids, wouldn't it?"
"Yup. That would be the point."
"When is your meeting with the publisher? Maybe I should be there for that."

So, in respect for my kids' rights to be morons, a single parenting book is likely not going to be written by me.

Time is ticking though, and I've given myself some deadlines. By tonight I will have chosen 6 samples of my writing and edited the life out of them.

Tomorrow night after work, I will buy supplies. Then after supper I will reformat my samples and print them on nice, happy, professional paper. Then I will write a resume/contact sheet and add that to my yet to be purchased classy portfolio folder as well.

At midnight I will do laundry, shave my legs, kick myself for not getting my eyebrows done, and decide what to wear.

With this timeline in mind, I sat down on my living room couch at 3:30 this afternoon and started in on the box of "Jane's Writing" that my mom had printed off for me. I got through the first 5 pages and fell asleep. Oh my goodness I am boring. I can't show a publisher this stuff.


Anonymous said...

If I lived next door, I would help you with the portfolio. By that I mean I would make a hundred labels and stick them to EVERYTHING. My labeller is, like, better than sex. Better than chocolate, and certainly less fattening. You should get a labeller. I think everyone on the planet should have one.
Anyways. Good luck with getting everything done. You're an outstanding writer, it's why I read your blog and I hope that wonderful things come out of this meeting. You deserve it, woman.

And did that Clint kid bring me any jet bars? DID HE?

Trev said...


I would like to take this moment to second Carson's motion!

Let it be added to the record. It's because of all those crazy stories that the book would be a success!