I was OK til about 9 pm

and then the floodgates opened.

Today was Oct 14.
First day back to work after a 4 day weekend.
Election Day in Canada.
Photography class in the evening.

A full day by anyone's standards. I kept moving forward all day long, dealing with one thing after another in a composed, got-my-poop-together sort of way.

But at 9:00, sitting in the driver's seat of Clint's truck parked in the driveway, with an unsuspecting Sandra beside me packing up her camera equipement, I mentioned that today would have been my 25th wedding anniversary. And somehow from there all I could think about was how hard this past year has been and how fractured everything feels and how afraid I am that my family will be torn apart again because of choices and decisions and misunderstandings and rebellion.

Sandra, who lives a life very different from mine, did all she could do in a situation like that... she suggested I read more Doctor Dobson books and then she prayed for me.

I hate falling apart in front of people. I save drama queen moments like those for my bathroom. If we had hopped out of the truck as soon as I put it in park, that whole messy sobbing scene could have been avoided.

Note to self - this is the last year you are going attach baggage to Oct 14.

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. Friends who pray with you because "where 2 are gathered" ... (I told her to go home and pray for me, she didn't have to do it out loud in the truck - but she said, no, there was more power when 2 were gathered in agreement ...) Pushy pentacostal broad.

2. I learned something new tonight. I think. Maybe. I'll have to try it again sometime. When no one is watching.

3. Brother-in-laws who drop by unannounced to fix doors that don't close. Thanks, Daryl.

Shalom,