Random Thoughts Before I Head to Bed

This is a lucky kid. He's got a blogging dad. :) (Hey Murrayville folk - in case you didn't know ... Trevor and Angela had their baby!)

I'm reading one of Clint's books, (not one that he's written. One that the author, Vern Heidebrecht gave to him) called "Hearing God's Voice". And do you know how he suggests we can best hear God's voice? BY JOURNALING. Yes, that was me totally screaming because, remember? I JUST GOT RID OF ALL MY JOURNALS. (Oh bother. I thought I'd link back to my post about throwing out my journals and I just spent 1/2 an hour reading through January 2008's entries. Sigh. What a month. )

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Anyway, Vern is right, in that, there's something very powerful about journaling your conversations with God. I wrote out most of my prayers and a whole lot of Bible verses during those years ... but unfortunately, I also wrote about people too. My feelings toward people. People who are alive. And there was no way I wanted anyone to read about those feelings. So I had no choice but to get rid of them. However, I am considering starting up the whole journaling thing again. I miss it. This time, though, I will be less "Dear Diary" and more "Speak to me, God". Vern promises, "The great thing about journaling is that God will personalize and help you understand the Scriptures as they pertain to you."

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Sounds good. Loooky here. Janie-O is growing up.

Clint is coming home on Tuesday. Golly, but I have missed him. And I am thrilled that he's been blogging. If you've visited, leave a comment, OK?

We weren't in church today.
Not sure if going to church as a family will ever happen for me again. And yes, this saddens me. Devastates me actually. We've become "that" family... truly and completely dysfunctional on all levels.
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Last week at Northview, Jeff told a story, and I walked away with the question, "How compelling is my Christianity?" And that question has been haunting me all week. So this morning I prayed about it. Because honestly? I am not winning anyone over for the Lord. No siree Bob. The folks I live with? Are not interested. What does that say about me?
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I missed the last devotional at the CCCC Conference because of the way my flights were arranged, so I pre-ordered the CD. It arrived this week, and I listened to it over the weekend. "Do I have a blocked artery that is preventing the love of God (who lives in my heart) to flow outwards to all of those in my world? Do the people I come into contact with, see Jesus in me? Do they feel loved? Am I all about rules? Or relationship?"

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I had a rough evening with my kids, and rather than get caught up in a loud, foolish argument, I went for a walk. I asked God to speak. I was listening.
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Part of me was a little freaked that He might actually answer audibly this time. I was half expecting Him to.
And kind of relieved that He didn't.
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When I got back, I sat in my truck for half an hour. Just praying. Mostly for wisdom. But maybe for a word of encouragement too. I spend alot of time beating myself up. My self-talk is almost always pretty negative. While I was sitting out there, I watched Max leave the house. I asked, but he wasn't receptive to the idea of me walking with him.
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Then Drew came out to see what my problem was.
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Anyway, I eventually wandered back in, checked facebook to see if Clint was on or if anyone had taken their turns in Scrabble, then opened my 4 email accounts.
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As is usual, God left me a message in my inbox. If I was Pentacostal, I would have heard him on Old Yale Road. But because I'm Mennonite, He sends me an email. I'm cool with that.
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This time He spoke to me through K's message:
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"Your blog is entertaining, but it's also thought provoking.
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Your posts make me thankful for my blessings, but at the same time, make me yearn for something more. After reading the three things you're thankful for, I take my turn and name three of my own or reflect on how your choices apply to me and my life. I also enjoy how you capture the character of my mother. I don't see her in that light, and, although I know her value, I love seeing her through your eyes.
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Your honesty, insight, love, intelligence, and faith resound in everything you write. May God encourage you to keep writing so I'll keep reading and attempt to grasp those little life lessons you seem to recognize and blog with such clearity. I'm blessed to call you my friend, even if you are my mom's friend first."
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The reason I'm sharing this with you?
Is to let you know the power of affirmation and encouragement. If God has given you that gift - USE it. It will make a difference in someone's life.
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Three things I'm thankful for:
1. Gen Y friends. So glad not all my friends are 47 years old.
2. I'm so thankful God let me be borned in Canada, and not, say, Peru.
3. That Clint is coming home. That he has had an awesome trip. That God can use videographers.
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Shalom,