You know how sometimes you just need to hear from God?
Or is it just me?
Maybe I'm the only whiny one down here, saying "God. Please. I need to know You're on this (prayer request of mine). I totally get that You don't owe me anything, and this whole relationship we have is based on faith. And I do believe You have Your big, strong hand on this situation ... but my stomach lining is being destroyed and it would do me good to just get glimpse of You at work here..."
I'd had 2 separate, rough conversations with the two sons that are not in a faraway place that left me feeling empty and lost. These are not good feelings for any mom to have. Especially when that mom is in charge of a large work-related event the next day.
Feeling kinda sorry for myself, I turned on my laptop and played scrabble on facebook instead of doing anything that would lessen the guilt I have regarding my not-so-clean house or my below-average parenting skills. I was in the midst of laying down a 7 letter word (which is called a "bingo" and is worth a bonus 50 points) when I thought I'd take a peak at the pop-up that tells me which of my friends are on facebook at the exact same time.
"Please God..." (I didn't even finish, God knew whose name I wanted to see.)
And there he was. At the top of the list. So we had this conversation:
8:09 Jane: Hey
8:09pm Clint: hey
8:09pm Jane: Did john get his equipment?
8:10pm Clint: yup, its all god.
good
8:10pm Jane: probably all god
8:10pm Clint: that donald miller books is amazing
8:10pm Jane: I'll read it when you get back
so what town are you in?
8:10pm Clint: terjuillo or something
8:11pm Jane: can I post your facebook note on my blog? good writing
8:11pm Clint: 8 hour busride from Lima, the capital
it has a population of 1million
the newest note?
8:11pm Jane: the one about your airport experience
where are you staying? In a hotel? or at someone's house?
8:12 Clint: hotel
in a missionary house right now
leaving very soon to a hotel a block away
8:13pm: Jane: what's it like? rain foresty? or like Mexico?
8:13pm:Clint: huge desert
www.ctext.wordpress.com
i g2g
love you
You have no idea. No idea how much that 4 minute conversation meant to me.
And that link he posted? Is his blog, where he posted a short piece about his first experience in Peru. If you read it, leave a comment. Comments mean everything to bloggers. Just sayin.
Anyways, after that, I stepped away from the computer and went to my quiet place. (Actually this whole house is my quiet place. Drew's been at his dad's place 3 nights this week. Clint is gone and Max is around for maybe 30 awake minutes. His life is working, sleeping and hanging with friends. I sometimes see him when he gets home from work, and before he goes to bed. ) But in this case, my quiet place was my living room. I wanted to read 2 Peter 3. In the Message version.
Steve read it to us during our staff devotions and made a comment or two that gave me hope and (as it turns out, a short-lived) peace. I wanted to recapture the feelings I had at work, so I grabbed my glasses, a pencil and my Bible and tried really hard. I ended up reading all of both Peters and underlined alot of verses and attempted to let them sink deep into my heart, brain and stomach. I didn't feel different though.
"God? I'm just going to have to believe in your promises with my head and trust (that even though my body's other internal organs aren't cooperating right now), trust that You've got things under control."
I went back to my laptop to do one last email/blog update check and there it was. A new post on Carolyn's blog. I followed a couple links that took me 6 degrees away from her's and VOILA! Some random Christian guy that I had never heard about or read before wrote an article that was so very exactly what I needed to read. Oh my goodness, you would be astounded if I shared all the details with you. It was Just Too Perfect. Seriously.
And while I'm reading random-Christian-guy's post and feeling all goosepimply (goose-bumpy?), my inbox dings and I see that I got a facebook message from someone special who has no idea he is an absolute answer to prayer. Absolute.
Sorry I can't share all the specific details. They're probably not important. The important part is, it's midnight. I've got to get up at 6 am. And for the first time in 4 weeks, my innards aren't ripping themselves apart. God knows what's going on. He really does. And He knows how best to work in our sticky situations.
Three things I'm thankful for:
1. He heard. He answered. Aweome.
2. Tomorrow is a new day to try all over again.
3. The folks I work with.
Shalom,
3 comments:
So, I've been stalking your blog for almost a year. Seriously, if you knew how addicted I am to your writing style, insight and humour, you would be scared. Very scared. I've even paid $10 to get an internet connection half way around the world just so I could check up on you and your world. So it dawns on me this morning, as I'm reading your blog looking for ways that God is going to speak to me through you, encourage me, uplift me, that maybe, just maybe, it's not about me. Maybe, I'm obsessed with reading your blog because I'm supposed to be praying for you! Actually, no "maybe's" involved. The Lord has spoken. And it only took my a year to hear. Awesome. I will pray for you and your family, Jane. Lots. Cause I check your blog lots and now I won't be able to read it without being reminded to pray. Good. Because I need to spend more time on the internet!
I've been carrying my anxiety in my stomach for the past few weeks, and every time I do I think of you and YOUR stomach, and how your anxiety is probably worse than mine (as I have no kids, and my parents are still in good health [now I feel like I'm rubbing it in, but you know what I mean]), and so when I get anxious-belly, I think of you and I pray for you and then I breathe a lot.
Oodles of love.
Hi Jane,
you don't know how many times I've wanted to put a link to Prodigal Jon's site over the last few months and it just never seemed right. So glad God orchestrated my life and yours so that this was the right time. His timing is never off. Stay encouraged.
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