Child who has not been around for 5 days: Yeah, I'm not going to be able to go to New York.
Me: I just bought the tickets. They are not refundable, exchangable or returnable. Yesterday I bought you a $100 City Pass (to get into Museums and tourist sites) that is not refundable, exchangeable or returnable. And JUST 10 MINUTES I PUT OUR NON-REFUNDABLE DEPOSIT DOWN ON A PLACE IN HARLEM. Why are you not coming?
Oldest child, King of Procastination: I just sent my passport to Brazil. I need a Visa for when I go there in July. It won't be back in time.
Me: WHAT? You're just sent that off now?
Him: I left my wallet in the States when I was at Sasquatch. I had no I.D.
Did you know that a person, like say, me, cannot reach a live person at any passport office anywhere in the entire country EVER. One toll free number with 38 recorded options to listen to. All of them ending with, "go visit your local office".
And at 4:30 on a Friday what are our options?