15 Things That Go Through Your Mind When Your Dad is in a Coma

1. He's going to die in the next ten minutes. I'm not ready for that news yet. Or am I?
2. I'm supposed to leave for Palm Springs in 17 hours. I'm cancelling. No way I can leave my mom alone to deal with this. I have to let S and K know.
3. Where will we hold the funeral?
4. Who would officiate?
5. Who would we ask to provide music?
6. Congregational singing? Who would lead? Which songs?
7. OH NO. Clint needs the scanner this week for a project he's working on. I NEED the scanner to get photos ready for the slide show. WHY DID I LEAVE THIS TIL THE LAST MINUTE?
8. Would we have the funeral this week?
9. Sob. 'nother sob... He's not going to be at any of his grandkids' weddings. His last conversation with Drew (on the phone a few days ago) was "Do you still have the same girlfriend? Are you going to marry her? Are you going to invite me to your wedding? I would like to be there."
10. Johnny Cash. We have to have a Johnny Cash song at his funeral. And we should all wear something red. He would love that. His closet just houses red articles of clothing. Do I even have a red top? Red really isn't a good color for me. This isn't about me. But it'd be a good family pic - all of us in black and red. Sob. Dad would've loved a family pic with all of us in his favorite colors. Why couldn't we have done this before now? What is wrong with us?

And then, after 6 hours, he squeezes my mom's hand and wiggles his left foot.

11. OK. Must've been a massive stroke. He's not responding to anything on his right side. He won't be going home. That's all he's talked about for the past 3 weeks is going home and sitting next to the fireplace and watching his movies. We need a new plan.
12. Full time care facility. Where is one that's close by? As close as possible to mom's house...
13. He will not like that.
14. She's insistent. Her mom lived for weeks after having a massive stroke, and she wants me to go on this trip. I have to let S and K know. I will fly home early if anything else goes sideways. Well, more sideways.

Fours hours later the results of the brain scan come back. No blood clots. This means he didn't have a stroke. (?) He's fine. Heart - ticking on schedule. All other organs? Doing what they're supposed to. They ran a multitude of tests all day long and they all came back good. Everything is normal. Except he's been in a coma for 8 hours.

15. What the heck, dad. You are amazing. Once again no one knows what the blazes is going on with you. For a simple man, you sure are complicated, medically.

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Thank you God, for holding my dad's life in your hands. Thank you for reminding us that our days are numbered according to Your will and for Your purposes. And we really don't know anything. And that's OK.
Thank you God, for my mom. Please continue to fill her with Your strength, flood her with Your peace and surround her with people who love and support her.

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At 10:00 pm, his limited speech was very slurred but he was responding to stimulants on both his left and right sides. He's sleeping. Alot. Which is good, because I don't think he's slept at all these past 3 weeks.

His life is in God's hands.

I'm OK with that.

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Three things I'm thankful for:

1. Mom (and dad)'s friends. Thank you thank you thank you for being there for her.
2. My friends. Goodness. Thanks for all your prayers.
3. My boys. Thanks, guys, for hanging out with me this evening.

Shalom,