Saturday, April 27, 2013

Currently ... APRIL 2013

This month?

I just re-read the March version of currently and it felt like I wrote it yesterday.
Feeling guilty for wasting another month. I suck at life sometimes. 

Things I am:

Obsessing over,
Working on,
Thinking about,
Listening to,
Praying for,
Happy about,

1. I am obsessing over: 
  • wasted time. 
  • that Irish/English accent obsession hasn't lightened up over the past four weeks. 
  • how hot I'm going to be in my office at work this summer. How few clothes can I really get away with wearing?

2. I am working on: (as in, right now, right this evening, I am working on ...)
  • laundry. I haven't done any in over a week. Maybe I'll clean out my closet too. It's Saturday night... this is what unmarried people women do. 
  • cleaning my kitchen. That too has been ignored this week. (Many things soaking in my oversized kitchen sink.)
  • giving my fridge some attention. If I don't do this soon, one of my children is going to have me admitted to a care facility. Because clearly I cannot live alone as I do not possess basic life skills. 
  • other than that? Nothing. 
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Well, OK. I am working on eating more vegetables. 
  • And going to bed by 1 am.
  • And not calling my kids more than once a week.
  • And drinking more water.
  • And listening to music rather than listening to my own thoughts. 
  • And going to the cabin more often.
  • And not freaking out in social situations where many people will gather. 
  • And being a better person.
  • And being bolder about faith-like conversations.
  • And. Well. That's enough for now. 
3. I am thinking about:
  • how death is something you can rarely plan for. 
  • how funerals are alot like NA cake meetings, in that the person being honored is told how great of an impact they've had on other's lives. 
  • a post I saw on Donald Miller's (a single Christian author) facebook wall: "The amazing love scene is awesome, but I think most of us just want somebody to watch TV with before bedtime."  When I read this I thought to myself, "this is why you're still single, Donald Miller. Because, speaking for a woman or two, most of US want someone to watch TV with AND an amazing display of romantic love every once in awhile. Otherwise, all we'd need is a roommate who takes out the garbage and helps with dishes."  
  • I need a roommate who likes to take out the garbage, do the dishes (OR make a meal) and who likes watching shows on TV with actors who have Irish/British accents. 
  • I am thinking about Thursday, and how special it was to see my dad and mom all day. Dad being reliant on her; and she being patient and loving towards him. "Where are my teeth?" he asked about 100 times. "Right here in my purse," she answered each time. His pacemaker is good for another 15 years; new batteries = heart will never stop beating. Ever. 
  • I am also thinking about making bananachocolatechip muffins with those dying bananas on the counter. But then I'd have to clean up again. Sigh. 
  • And also thinking about a fun conversation I had with my mom recently. I just put this fleece before God re: me moving forward on a totally, utterly, completely, ridiculous idea. I'll know I should 'do something' only if I hear/see a certain, very rare (to me) 5 letter word. [Some background: I'd thought of this thing a few times in December and January, and then I shoved the idea away. The 'trigger word' popped up at work one day in February, unexpectedly, while listening to training videos on youtube for some software apps we were considering. I remember laughing, because it was so very RANDOM. So I prayed about it again. Then in March, again at work, I was plugged into my iPhone, listening to the 2,000 songs that Maureen downloaded from her computer to mine last summer and all of a sudden, out of the blue, there was that word again. Very clear. Gave me the goosebumps. So I prayed about it again.] And I said to God, "OK, if I hear or see that word AGAIN, I will do something about it." (That's the fleece.) Only one other person on this earth knows the word. My mom. And Hahahahahahaha. Sometime in the last two weeks she saw that word, in super large print, like SUPER large print, across one page of the newspaper. Just that word. Taking up a portion of a page of the newspaper. She was tempted to tell me to buy buy a newspaper, knowing that I'd see the word - but then decided that this was between me and God. And God could figure out a way for me to see the word without her interference. This whole thing just makes me smile. (Seriously? A whole page in a newspaper. Hahahaha. And I missed it. If it's meant to be - it'll happen.)
4. I am anticipating:

  • SUMMER. I am going to take 3 days off work even though I don't qualify for holidays til November. Really hoping the sun shines on those three days. 
  • Some great dinner plans next week. 
  • And coffee dates the week after.
  • Selling my house? Ha. I was anticipating that for 6 months last year. So maybe not. But it occurred to me this evening whilst dancing around my family room that IF IT DOES SELL, I should have a 'goodbye Murrayville' dance party here. In my family room with no furniture. As much fun as that would be, I can't imagine anyone else dancing in this room with me. Well, Sandra would. And probably Rick. Me and my dumb ideas. 

5. I am listening to:

  • the washer and dryer (see note above re: laundry)
  • the dishwasher (see note above re: kitchen)
  • the voices in my head reminding me that I need to quit fantasizing and just move on with real life already. 
  • Lay Me Down by Chris Tomlin on repreat and repeat and repeat.
6. I am eating:
  • Nothing really. Really. 
7. I am praying for:
  • "That" thing and that word. 
  • My kids. One of them is planning on going to Uganda for 3 months, and from there, over to Nepal for another month. No, I will not google Uganda or Nepal to find out what things are like over there. 
  • My mom and dad. This 'season' in their life is likely not a short season. This is what being a senior looks like. 
  • Me. And my effectiveness at work. As the days go by, I realize how much I need to grow.
  • My friends' marriages. 
  • My kids's friends.
  • My new Compassion kid. Another girl. I have two daughters now. :) I really have to make an effort to send letters. I suck. 
  • New parents. Those newborn days are killer, no?

8. I am reading:
  • Nothing. Last month I listed three books (Bible, devotional, and book club book) and I read them all on the day I wrote 'currently' and didn't pick any of them up again after that. But ask me what I've been WATCHING. Because, I have switched reading for watching. So I can hear those accents. Pray for me. 
9. I am happy about:
  • pink toe nails.
  • slept TWELVE hours last night. 
  • DRY crawlspace
  • big income tax return
  • first beach walk of the season
  • first gelato of the season
  • He doesn't stop searching for the lost
  • Mandi graduated from Bible School today
10. I am wishing:
  • for a few answered prayers
  • for God to surprise me
  • that I was more thankful. More spontaneous. More fun. More confident. Wiser.


Three things I'm thankful for:

1. Forgiveness and grace 
2. Amazon dot com
3. Weekends
4. Grape hyacinth
5. Facebook
6. Twitter (follow me: jane o @pixnprose) 
7. Beaches, oceans, sunshine
8. He loves me
9. Avocados
10. Smart, patient people


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