Still thinking about the book, What Alice Forgot:
Sometimes, when things are going badly in a relationship, it's helpful/wise/necessary to step back from where you are today and remember the good/amazing/endearing things from at the beginning.
The bump in the road you're experiencing right now is not necessarily indicative of how things will be forever. It might be messy and hard right now, but that could change in an instant... you never know. In the meantime, don't dwell on the how awful things are, or the way you are constantly being hurt/angered/disappointed and remember how it was.
I'm not just talking about husband-wife relationships here.
Back when things were at their worst with say, a son with a drug addiction, I kept photos of him when he was his most adorable (ages 3 - 12) handy and told myself, this is who he is. This is who I love. This is who God created. This is the one who will return to us someday. This is the real thing.
Of course, I didn't get ten year old Max back, but those awesome qualities that made Max who he is, all came back. In a maturer version.
What really hit home for me (about this book) was that Alice was 39, separated, with 3 kids, living in a beautiful 'dream' home, and in the midst of divorcing. She 'woke up' from a bump on her head, believing she was still 29, pregnant for the first time, madly in love with her husband, and in the midst of renovating their 'fixer upper' home.
(I too was once 39,separated, with 3 kids, living in a beautiful 'dream' home, and in the midst of divorcing.)
39 year old Alice was not the same person that 29 year old Alice was. She was fitter, foxier, less trusting and maybe a tad bitchier. She was part of a different friendship circle and her life was busy. Busy with a capital B. When she 'woke up' in her 39 year old life, with only 29 years of memories, she is in awe of who she is. And what she'd lost along the way.
39 year old Jane was not the same person that 29 year old Jane was. Was I 'better' or 'worse'? I don't know. Those years are blurry. But I do know that 49 year old Jane sure looked alot different than 39 year old Jane. Different job. Different church. Different house. Different friends. Am I becoming a better version of myself? Or worse? How does one access that?
We make decisions based on the information we have at the time. And we process that information based on our experiences at the time. But years later, we can pause to re-examine it all and find had we known the rest of the details, or been less judgemental/afraid/inexperienced in that matter, we may have decided on a totally different course of action.
I had two free VIP Scene passes so Jenn and I went to see Edge of Tomorrow tonight in the fanciest set-up I've ever experienced. (Reclining, wide, padded, comfortable seats with small side tables for the snacks that are delivered to your seats by servers. Enhanced sound. Imax 3D.)
Do you know the premise of the movie? The story line is a little bit similar to Bill Murray's old movie, Groundhog Day. Tom Cruise keeps reliving the same day over again.
And he uses each new (repeated) day to make himself a stronger, fitter, smarter soldier. So when The day comes, he is prepared.
(I seem to remember Bill Murray eventually using each new day in this time loop thing, to learn things too. Like how to play the piano, sculpt ice and speak French. And so on.)
And I was thinking, how is that any different than real life?
Like, my alarm goes off every morning at 7:40 and I hit the snooze button 4 times before I get up. Every morning I rush to get out of the house by 8:40 so that I am sitting in devos at 9:00.
Every day I sit at my desk and make lists, talk to people, get prices and sit in meetings.
Every day after work I see a friend or a son after I've rushed through dinner.
Every night I ...
Well, you get the idea. I live in a time loop too. Every day looks alot like the one before.
Every morning I have been given another 24 hours to do something. I could learn French. Practice sculpting ice. Spend time preparing for The day when I might need to be a lean, mean fighting machine. Memorize scripture.
Bill Murray and Tom Cruise's characters both decided to re-invent themselves.
I guess we all have that same opportunity.
This is weird.
Have you been to a movie lately?
You know how they have commercials during the pre-show?
Usually they're cell phone advertisements.
I'll set the scene for you.
It's a Speed Dating clip.
And there's a British chick getting ready to 'interview' young men every few minutes.
How do you wipe your bum?
And in response their answers ("with toilet paper and my hand") she pulls out her 'dream team' ... a roll of toilet paper and a pack of wet wipes and suggests this is a better way to a cleaner bum.
I. Am. Not. Kidding.
I looked for a this ad on Youtube but couldn't find it.
However, it appears Cottonelle has a whole series of these "Let's Talk About Bums" ads:
I realize this is a 'thing'. A friend of mine noted that wipes are part of her and her husband's life, for years now. And the other day I overheard two 30-year-old British guys talking about wiping (I KNOW!) and they never rely on 'just' toilet paper - they use wipes too.
BUT ads? At movie theatres?
Or maybe not?
Maybe it's enlightening? And entertaining?
What. Do. I. Know?
Three things I'm thankful for:
1. Ice cubes.
2. Instagram so that I can see shots like this:
(Clint's been in Revelstoke this week, on a shoot. Love that my city boy was out in the sticks. No offence to Revelstoke.)