Masked Max

Max's Top Ten:
Name your favorite:
1. Family Game -
Settlers of Catan
2. Piece of Jewlery -
My Bling
3.Winter Activity -
SNOWBOARDING
4. Hot beverage -
Tea/ hot chocolate
5. Quote -
"There's nothing so tragic as seeing a family pulled apart by something as simple as a pack of wolves." - Jack Handey
6. Colour on you -
Sea Kelp (snowpants)
7. Summer Activity -
Picking weeds for 10$/hour
8. Topping on pancakes -
Syrup
9. Musician -
Too many to pick just one fav
10. file folder colour -
what the heck?

Drew's Picks:

Drew took the challenge and wants to play too. (Scroll down to see my original post.)
His favorite:
1. Family game: Scattegories
2. Favorite piece of jewelry: Bups's gold nugget.
3. Winter activity: snowboarding
4. Hot Beverage: Hot Chocolate from Esquires
5. Quote: "Don't be such a zeltoid." Mark's grade 12 Year Book Quote
6. Colour on you: Dark blue
7. Summer activity: cruising on bikes with Markie at Cultus
8. Topping on pancakes: Syrup
9. Musician: Mad Child
10. File Folder Colour: Pink

Ten Faves

(...rhymes with waves)

Name your favorite -
1. Family game: Scattegories.
2. Piece of jewelry: I really like the triple diamond ring I got after I gave birth to my third son. But equally meaningful to me is the Italian Charm bracelet Clint bought me 2 christmases ago.
3. Winter activity: Hibernating.
4. Hot Beverage: weak Earl Grey Tea with 4 cubes of sugar and a slice of lemon. Even then, I'll probably only drink half a cup.
5. Quote: Words are the voice of the heart. Confucious
6. Colour on you: Black. Most of the time. Blue for the other times.
7. Summer activity: tan
8. Topping on pancakes: blech. gag. Hate pancakes. Now, if we could substitute that for handmade waffles... well, then I like strawberries with whipped cream on top.
9. Musician: Nelson Boschman
10. File folder colour: Buff. (The colour of a paper bag.)

Your turn. Andie, Christine, Jenn - I'll check your blogs tomorrow. The rest of ya... e-mail me your top ten. I'll just sit here and wait.

Take care,

Maxman

He's tall and lanky. His growth spurt was impressive last year... the "fat Elvis" stage is a thing of the past.
At Sun Peaks he landed on his bum and ended up injuring his tailbone. Even though he wears his pants low enough that he wouldn't need to drop them for a doctor, he refused medical attention. Despite the intense pain, he's been going to school as per usual, with a pocket full of Advil for when the discomfort becomes too great.
I did write him a note, to give to his PE teacher, excusing him from participating in the class activities for a week or so. He went to the arena with his class, but sat in the stands, listening to his MP3 player, while everyone else was on the rink.
When I picked the guys up afterschool, Max slowly lowered himself into the front seat with a huge grin on his face.
"How was school?"
"Fantastic. We had iceskating today."
"Did you skate?"
"No. I was a babe magnet instead."
"Huh?"
"I was just sitting there, trying to listen to my music and one of the girls came by to talk to me. Then another one. And 'nother one."
From the backseat, "It's true Mrs. O. I was playing hockey, and I looked up and there was Max, completed surrounded by all the girls. Never seen anything like it before."
"Yeah. They, like, flocked around me. Like seagulls. On a fry. AND I WAS THAT FRY!"

He just got home. He was at WalMart with his friends, the backseat boys.
He was excited about his evening's gifts, (belated birthday presents) "Look at this great hat."
It is black leather with ear flaps and a zippered pocket on the front above the rim. It looks particularly striking when accompanied with his other new fashion accessory; the plasticized replica WWE championship wresting belt. In his hand was a new bright orange cap gun.

He looks like a really really big three year old.

Just thinking

Of the three things I'm thankful for:

1. The vegetarian chick who hangs around. If it wasn't for her, fresh green things would never get set out at suppertime.
2. A friend who recently had a masectomy got the good news that chemo and radiation will not be necessary... they got it all.
3. Finally, after close to 2 months of fitful nights, I'm sleeping a solid 6 hours. It's either sheer exhaustion or a clean conscience.

Not so thankful for:
The way little things keep breaking down; can't open the back hatch of my truck, can't find replacement burners for my stove that fit, can't... well, you get the idea.


What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure.
Samuel Jackson

Take care,

A rose by any other name...

“Jordan? Why Jordan?” my partner asked me today at work.
“Well, I don’t like to use real names on my blog unless I’ve got permission. Or at least implied approval.”
“You use your kids’ real names, don’t you?”
“Yeah. But I try to get their OK before I post a story about them.”
“But why Jordan? Why’d you pick that name? Do I look like a Jordan?”
“No. It’s just that it’s close to your actual name…”
“Well, I think if you’re going to write about me, I should at least be able to pick my own fake name.”
“OK.”
“Do you want a photo too?”
“Yeah. E-mail me a nice picture of you. How about the Christmas one? Blue shirt. Orange tie.”
Few minutes later…
“OK. It’s sent.”
“Alright. What name did you want me to call you?”
“Superman.”

Clark Kent and his bride, Lois Lane

Martha I'm not.

Yeah right.
Homemaker.
Stay at home mom.

This homemaker finally took down her Christmas tree. Yesterday. It was a real one. Meaning it was one sneeze away from being stark naked. The path of pine needles were inhaled by a vacuum that rebelled mid-suck. It (the vacuum) was left in the entrance as the second string cleaning crew was called into action. Once the woodsy mess was disposed of, the broom joined the vacuum to guard the front door. The 45 pound Christmas tree stand was removed from the living room by my muscle-popping 17 year old. He selected the welcome mat, outside the front door, as the perfect place to store the stand til next Christmas.
The Christmas lights, lovingly removed from the tree, and placed on the couches with care, look like they’d been knotted by some mad macramé-ist.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, every pot and pan currently in our possession has been “soaking”. A load of dirty dishes is patiently waiting on the counter for their turn to enter the sauna.
And the oven. Yes. The oven. I was boiling eggs a week ago, and forgot to turn the burner off when I left the house. Once the water had nicely evaporated, the eggs started to heat up real good. And the candles on the cooktop melted into an exquisite large puddle of wax. Truly, I intended on cleaning that mess up. But we left for SunPeaks the next day. And when we got back… well, laundry became a priority. As did grocery shopping. And homework. And seeing a movie with a friend. And blogging.

“Mom? This is disgusting. Aren’t you ever going to clean it?” (You KNOW it’s gross when a son is repelled by the sight of your stove.)

TODAY was the day. To tackle it all. Wrestle the mess. Be the champion of my home like the quiz says I should be.
But then the phone rang. Could I do this? And that? And reschedule the lesson for today instead of tomorrow?

Finally at 6:30pm I was home again. Just getting supper started when Jenn, my writing buddy dropped by.

It was like getting caught with …hairy legs on a first date to the beach.
My house is messy and disgusting. It’s in serious need of a homemaker.

I’m supposed to be that homemaker. The personality profile test said so.
But I’m not.
(Well, maybe I could be if I didn’t share living quarters with Curly Moe and Joe…)

My inability to be a gracious spontaneous hostess is worrisome.
What is wrong with me?

Jenn. When you drop by next week, I’ll invite you all the way into my kitchen. I should have the wax scraped off by then. If all’s well, the soaking pots will have practically cleaned themselves. And the Christmas tree stand will be pushed to the side of the house.

Because, after all, friendship is more important than cleanliness.
And I’m sure I don’t have a single friend who would judge me harshly just because there’s mould growing in my windowsills, super-size-me dust bunnies in every corner, and left-overs in the fridge dating back to the Trudeau era.

Right?

Who Am I?

My partner at work asked me to do one of those personality profile tests so that he could figger me out. (He's in his early 20's and has only been married for 7 months. Clearly he has no clue about the complexities of women. NO test on earth is going to help him understand me better.)
He thought we would be a more effective team if he knew my letters. (The apparent universally known profile letters.)
I think he told me his. They meant nothing to me.
I promptly forgot them.

I’ve been dragging my feet on filling out the questionnaire he handed to me to complete…
I’m to choose one MOST and one LEAST in each of the 28 groups of words:
Example; of the four words: – captivating
- contended
- demanding
- compliant

Which one of those words am I MOST?
Which one am I LEAST?

I don’t know. I don’t.
It all depends, I guess. If it’s 7:30am and no one is out of bed, I am MOST demanding. If, on the other hand, we’re at the lake, I’m MOST contended. I guess in all circumstances I am NEVER captivating. (Although I can be easily captivated; as evidenced by my obsession with brown eyed actors who wear mascara and have gold teeth caps.) And, if I set my mind to it, I can be compliant for a minute of two, as long as I agree with the concept and execution.
See what I mean? It’s ambiguous. I don’t know what they want…

All 28 groups of words had me twisted in knots. (Another example: willing, eager, thorough, high-spirited. UGH. Most? Least? I don’t know. I am most willing and eager to bake a pan of brownies and eat it all. I am most thorough when I lick the bowl. And afterwards, with a ginormous sugar rush belting through my veins, I can be most high-spirited.)



Can’t you just hear my high pitched whine? I can hear it in my head and it’s annoying.

Finally tonight, I did the Breyers-Migg on-line personality test. I didn’t like the results so I did it again.
That test is good. Got the same results twice.

Jordan is going to be thrilled to know that his Ministry Resources (Fundraising) partner’s top two recommended career choices are: HOMEMAKER and STAY AT HOME MOM.

Yup yup yup. Whiles he's contacting foundations and requesting funding for our ministry, he can count on me to dust the shelves, pick out curtains and check his spelling.

Who Am I?

ISFJ - "Conservator". Desires to be of service and to minister to individual needs - very loyal. 13.8% of total population.

Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs)

ISFJ

Introverted (I) 59.46% Extroverted (E) 40.54%

Sensing (S) 75.76% Intuitive (N) 24.24%

Feeling (F) 52.94% Thinking (T) 47.06%

Judging (J) 64.86% Perceiving (P) 35.14%

follows the rules, fears drawing attention to self, easily frightened, easily offended, easily intimidated, dutiful, private, lower energy, finisher, organized, socially uncomfortable, easily hurt, observer, cries easily, not spontaneous, does not appreciate strangeness - intolerant to differences, apprehensive, clean, planner, easily confused, afraid of many things, responsible, guarded, avoidant, anxious, cautious, suspicious, more interested in relationships and family than intellectual pursuits, not adventurous, fears doing the wrong thing

Favored Careers:
homemaker, stay at home parent, office worker, health care worker, personal assistant, school teacher, administrative assistant, child care worker, clerical employee, receptionist, library assistant, dietician, health educator, librarian

Disfavored Careers:
rock star, philosophy professor, filmmaker, performer, writer, bar owner, comedian, dj, entertainer, ceo, psychotherapist, bartender, entrepreneur, lecturer, astronomer

Guest Author:

Exerpts from Clint's grade 12 English Memory Book:
(I'll get his permission tomorrow.)

"I had a happy childhood; I never had any traumatic experiences in my first 5 years of life. Everything was perfect and the world was a blissful place to live in.

Of course that changed when I was ushered into the cold, dark and uncaring halls of the public school system."

From Kindergarten: "Scissors were hard to use. I remember that distinctly... mostly because I was left-handed and the only scissors they had were right-handed ones. What age were we living in. the 1920's? It was a huge injustice."

"Grade 4 was when I got my glasses.
Officially I was a dork."
"I also had my first non-white friend in grade 4. I just kinda noticed that now. MB was darker skinned than me... I can't remember now what he looked like, but I know he was either black or brown. That sounds kinda terrible but I have no idea what race he was besides "non-white". Ha ha."

"From the ages of 2 to 4, my preferred movie for every weekend was The Lady and The Tramp. SHUT UP.
And then, the next movie that really impacted me was the STAR WARS trilogy. I watched Star Wars when I was like 7, all 3 of them. Again, SHUT UP. I never memorized the entire movie or dressed up like a Jawa or anything..."

"When I graduated from middle school, I was voted by the grads as the person most likely to win a Darwin award. For those of you not in the know, the Darwin Awards are a series of awards given to people who manage to kill themselves in the most idiotic manner possible, unintentionally. It was a great honor."

"The first day we moved into our new house, my grandpa spilled some burgundy wood stain on our driveway. To stop it from ruining our driveway, he pulled out his universal fix for everything: gasoline. As my grandpa was dousing our driveway, a neighbour came up demanding we stop because the gas might run inot the storm drain that clearly had a yellow fish spray painted on it. Personally I would be more worried about a driveway soaked in gas than the fishies... Whatever the case, she called the fire departmentsaying there were hazardous chemicals in our drains... a fire truck, the fire warden, a pumper truck, a union public-works truck and a manager all arrived on our front step. It was agreed that the drain did indeed have gas in it and it should be removed. t was taken care of and a good time was had by all.

And that is how we made our grand entrance into the community; an economic crisis marred by controversy and flammable liquids.

Not a single person welcomed us to the neighbourhood."

Re: grade 12: "Right now all I'm doing in school is trying to make it as fun and non-sucky as possible."

The scars are healing nicely...

Check this out:

Feel like looking through a few good blogs? There was a contest recently, and the tops ones are listed here: www.blogmechanics.com/bob
In the art/photography/poetry category there's a blog named: sensitive light. Good stuff. (Keep clicking on "previous" to see his portfolio.) Amazing. Utterly amazing.

Does the Brad and Jenn break-up bother you as much as it does me?
For some reason, when Tom and Nicole broke up I couldn't have cared less... but Brad and Jenn's decision to separate is troublesome.
Why is their marriage over?
Why is it on my mind?

From where I come from, cuteness and sex appeal are the most coveted qualities in a wife. You would never leave one who possesses both AND makes alot of money to boot.
Is Angelina Jolie a step up the wife ladder? Is her kid that lovable? Are her lips that amazing?

I don't get it.

Jenn's tiny. Has great upper arms and a flat stomach. She's a trophy wife if ever there was one...

Guess it'll be one of life's unsolved mysteries; right alongside how they get the caramel in the caramilk bar.

Take care,

Hot or Cold?

While shivering on our walk from the hotel to the coffee shop in Harrison, Mandi asked, “Do you think it’s better to be too hot or too cold”?
I have no memory of what my reply was a few weeks ago, but today I boldly say, “It is better to be cold.”

I know this for a fact.

Last weekend I was in vacationing in -32 degree weather. It was chilly. On my cheeks and nasal passages.
Denise and I went on a few photo-walks. I wore jeans, boots, a sweat shirt and vest, with my boarding jacket (outer shell, no liner) unzipped. I wore a scarf and toque the first day. The second day I didn’t bother with the toque. Got enough hair on my head to keep it well insulated. On my hands I had a 20 year old pair of loosely knit mittens, which made taking pictures tricky…so my hands were bare often. (Oh, and, on my bones I have about 347 pounds of fat.)

Today it was 18 degrees. (That’s a 50 degree temperature fluctuation in 72 hours. Can’t be a healthy situation.) Overcast with a balmy breeze. I wore the lightest pants I own, a pair of (shudder) trouser socks, and a short sleeve blouse. I was cooking. Baking. Melting.

I was friggin HOT. Even my feet were on fire.
However, I work with tiny little skinny people who walk around shivering, wearing gloves and scarves in the office, while warming their fingers over cups of coffee.
My desk is situated directly under the heating vent, thus - hot air blows on me all day.

Because I work for a Christian organization, taking off my clothes is simply not an option.

But in my own home I can wear or not wear what ever I want.
As soon as the youth group currently meeting in my living room, leaves tonight… I’m gonna get comfortable.

Don’t drop by.

Thankful for:

1. Miniature daffodils
2. Drive through car washes
3. Gas Fireplaces

Take care,

This is what it's all about. The graceful descent ...toe edge, heal edge, toe edge, heal edge... 

Sun Peaks photos 

Next year's Christmas card photo? 

Fresh powder 

... before he smashed his tailbone. 

Best buds. 

Hard core 'boarders. They were on the slopes even though it was -24... 

Three things:

3 names you go by:
mom
Jane
Mrs O

3 things you like about yourself:
I don't let a bit of snow or ice prevent me from taking a mountain vacation
I know how to make a house a home
I grow hair real good

3 things you dislike about yourself:
my size
my thighs
my sighs

3 parts of your heritage:
dab of dutch
touch of german
sprinkling of russian
(= 100% mennonite)

3 things that scare you:
noises in the night when I'm home alone
that I'll never feel comfortable with my appearance
that my boys will walk away from the Lord

3 of your everyday essentials:
1/2 hour on the computer, checking blogs
I have to wash my face at least twice
a hug from Drew

3 things you're wearing right now:
boots, socks
pants, top
jacket, scarf
(just got in. Too lazy to take off outerwear...)

3 new things you want to try in the next 12 months:
use a SLR digital camera
wear fishnet stockings
get a mamogram


3 things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
communication
laughter
shared passions

2 truths and a lie (in no particular order to keep ya guessing):
I have a boyfriend.
I've never had a cup of coffee
I don't know how to swim


3 physical things that are appealing:
eyes with smile wrinkles
soft lips
tight ass

3 things you just can't do:
golf
have any more babies
imagine a world without birds

3 of your favorite hobbies:
photography
suntanning
reading

3 careers you're considering:
mud wrestler
sports columnist
professional fundraiser

3 places you want to go on a vacation:
Sedona, AR
Any tropical location where there's palm trees, warm breeze and a sack of knees. Err. No... bunch of keys. Wait... lots of fresh peas. A life of ease...
Barkerville

3 potential kids names:
Hazel
Apple. Oops, I mean Pear.
Kate

3 things you want to do before you die:
attend my grandchildren's weddings
write something inspirational
do whatever it is God created me for

3 people who have to do this quiz also:
Jenn
Andie
Chris
on their blogs.
The rest of you can e-mail me your answers.

Take care,

Brrrr

Know what freezes at -32 degrees?
Just about everything...

Off again...

You know how before you head out for a trip, you want your house to be all clean and shiny? And you get uptight about the dishes getting done, the garbage taken out, the moldy science project moved, the muddy floors swiffered, the toilets sanitized, the sidewalk shoveled...

And ya know how before a youth group comes over to your house you want the Christmas stuff put away? In an organized fashion, preferrably in labeled containers...

And you know how, if you take a day off, everything really piles up at the office? And your middle of the month chores get lost in the shuffle, and the new stuff your learning goes in one ear and gets lost...

And ya know how, as your kids get older, you hope they can pack their own gear? And you haven't factored in a spare minute to check their bags, but you know Max is probably bringing 6 pairs of boxers , 14 t-shirts and no extra socks...

And you know how, if you go away two weekends in a row, none of your regular "weekend type stuff" gets done? Like laundry, for example. A big example...

And you know how, if you're the key communications person on a school fundraising team, and you've planned two more events, how you pretty much have to spend an hour or two on the computer the night before you get away, making sure everyone has been communicated with?

And you know how, when you've been on the go since the crack of dawn, and haven't had a chance to just sit and relax, that when you finally take a breathing spell, the first thing you want to do is blog?

Oh.
Really?
I'm the only one?
Huh.

Anyway, I'm off for a long weekend. We're joining another family of boys to spend a few days in -28 degree weather. The kids will snowboard. I will not. We will all have fun.

Take care,

"You know my tongue scraper?" he says as he walks into my room at the Hotel.
"I thought I had it packed in my little green bag."
"What's a tongue scraper?" Clint wanted to know.
"It a special knife you use to scrape your tongue."
"Why would you want to do that, Bups?" Drew asked.
"For sweet breath."
My dad likes to be prepared for any kissing opportunity. His pockets alway contain mints or gum - just in case...
"Anyways..." I prod his story along.
"I thought I had it in my bag. So I looked and looked. Then I put my hand under the bottom on the inside and lifted up the hard piece. Look what I found."
He opens his hand and shows us a good-sized wad of American $100 dollar bills.
"Must have tucked these in there the last time we went to California."

That was 5 years ago.

Last September, while sorting through items for their garage sale, a fat roll of cash was found stuffed into the right toe of his old ski boots.

My parents bought a piece of property overlooking the river. They will be building a lovely Victorian home and moving from the farm sometime next year. Believe me when I say that the ol homestead, including the barns will be swept through with a fine toothed comb. No cupboard will be left unchecked, no item will be thrown out until we are satisfied all hidden stashes have been uncovered.

It'll be a treasure hunt with no map and no clues.

Return to Sender

Drew made a card for Todd Bertuzzi (of the Vancouver Canuck's). He wanted to wish him a Merry Christmas and let him know we've been praying for him. It was a sweet bit of correspondence, completely instigated by a 10 year old who's missing a season of hockey. He looked up Todd's address on Telus's online "Phone Book". Unfortunatley it was desperately incomplete.
The card was returned to us today.
Kinda sad.

Redwood Park

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. Tile floors. Hokey dinah have we ever tracked in mucky snow these past few days.
2. Fluffy down-filled duvets. The thin blankets at the Resort were sad.
3. Warm memories of late night laughter with my family last weekend.

Not so happy about:
The unshoveled driveway; now a safety hazzard.



Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns.
I am thankful that thorns have roses.
Alphonse Karr

Take care,